Friday, January 2, 2009


Again in the morning news today I read about the "Too Poor For Divorce" discussion. All this due to the economy.
It takes me back to the 1970s, when my general contractor husband was building a house for a nice young couple who seemed to get along quite well. Suddenly, when the time came for choices, the two turned into mortal enemies before our eyes.
The fighting was bitter; what color should the carpet, countertops and applicances be? What color should the siding be? What style should they choose for lighting... and so on and on and on...
They traded stinging accusations: "You're el-cheapo"... "You don't know quality when you see it"..."You have no taste at all"..."You're such a worthless diva"... "You're such a low-life hillbilly"... "I never realized, you're really stupid"...
One day they asked for a special meeting to tell us, "We don't want the house; we're backing out; we've filed for divorce."
The project had proceeded too far for that to happen. They--and we--had too much money invested, and if they intended to lose it, we didn't. My husband suggested they act strictly as business partners in bringing the project to completion, and like any business partners, they could then split the profit and each go their own way, a bit more equipped financially for their separate futures.
From that point, none of their choices were personal or connected with ego or self-image; they were strictly business with an eye to marketability. From this vantage point, the couple worked seamlessly together.
When the time came to put the finished house on the market,the couple informed us they had a good time putting the project together. And they had decided to cancel the divorce.
They never put the house on the market; they raised a happy family there and loved the house. To this day, they are still married.
Good day, again, to all of you from R.A.T. (Rose Around Town)...still also married to the builder (retired).