ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE, I LEARNED FROM TV THIS AFTERNOON

*All the TV pitchmen (and women) have graduated from the SAWYA (Scream and Wave Your Arms)School of Broadcasting, founded by ultra-pitchman Billie Mayes.
*All natural human processes can be conducted in public. So say protestors who are mad at Face Book for yanking personal breast-feeding videos from their site. Hmm... "natural processes"... like urination? sex? child birth...? (Although teenagers who see that LAST item might be inclined to avoid child birth for awhile).
Me... I'm inclined to separate the women who know how to breast feed modestly, as opposed to those I've seen who feed their old-enough-to-walk children at malls--by openly and brazenly pulling their t-shirts waaay up and popping the kids onto their bare chests. (I've seen many a senior citizen fall off their chairs when they see THAT one!)
*For $19.95, so say the frequent commercials, I can buy a Loud'N'Clear amplifying earpiece and listen in on other people's conversations and even walk around at parties and listen to what they're secretly saying about ME. Gotta BUY that!
*I can also buy a bottle of a magic-something called LIPOZENE and lose fat fast,without even working at it, because, as everybody knows, . "you can't lose weight any other way no matter how hard you work at it."
*TV commercials are SUPPOSED to be twice as loud as the program that's been putting you to sleep. If you're lying too close to the edge of the couch, you're also SUPPOSED to fall off when the commercial startles you awake.
G'DAY, MATES! Always glad to share new knowledge with you!
R.A.T. (Rose About Town).