BAD SPORTS

If you're a sports fan, as I once was, you've heard about the firings in the upper echelons of the Cleveland Browns football organization.Seems everyone's fired except the owner, who's not apt to fire HIMSELF!

I'm a woman who was once such a fan of this team, I'd let my husband and three sons---who weren't fans---go off somewhere while I spent a few Sunday hours with the Kardiac Kids(as we referred to them then, when win or lose, they were exciting).

Now...when teams are blackmailing cities to demolish new stadiums and build fancy new ones for them or they will pack up and move; and when spoiled football players spend more time in bars and jails than on the practice field;and when players earn more money in one game than the President of the U.S.can earn in a full term; and when tickets cost so much that families can no longer afford to attend home games together.... Well, ho hum; Bye, boys.

But a lot of you do still care about such things, including people I still care about, and they seem upset about the apparent collapse of this team. To them, I suggest they get in touch with Secretary of State Condaleeza Rice. She will soon be out of work, and she has often expressed her lifelong dream of owning a professional sports team, particularly football.

Perhaps she could scrape some cash together---the team could soon be available at a Bargain Basement price---and she might be able to buy the Browns. After all, she's always enjoyed a good challenge, and this team would certainly be THAT.

Then...even people like me might start watching games again, just to see the strong Condaleeza stylishly pacing the sidelines like a caged mountain lion, with such a grimace on her face, the Kardiac Kids might actually be inspired to start making our hearts beat hard again.

So long for today from R.A.T. (Rose About Town)